You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
