if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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