Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
