Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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