i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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