Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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