I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
