My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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