walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
