C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
