wanna go halves on a baby?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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