P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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