I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
