just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
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