You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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