I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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