i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
