i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
