when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Princesses don't give blow jobs
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
