Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
