This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
