YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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