Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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