We're like a lot better than the average bears
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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