end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
