I heard we made out
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
high people should be assigned attendants
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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