Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
