what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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