Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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