Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
