You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
