yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
