So drunk its hurt
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
