I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
