Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The struggles of a small town man whore
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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