haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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