Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
