Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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