this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
