I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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