new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
