I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
