so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
