you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
