did you get engaged???
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
