Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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