I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
