I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
