brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
