If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
