So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
