so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
